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Potato chips are called crisps in England. (You probably know that “chips” are french fries, but sometimes they’re also called french fries, to further confuse the issue.) The English are passionate about their crisps, and they demand a wide variety of types and flavours. But the flavours are so very strange.

Today I was feeling a bit peckish on my morning break and nipped up to the vending machine. (I mostly try to avoid junk food, so this was my first visit.) I was amused to see Ham & English Mustard crisps. “Why not,” I thought, and put in 50p. They tasted and smelled exactly like ham with a hint of mustard. They were good, but seemed wrong… like an apple that tastes of chocolate.

I’ve also tried:
– the ubiquitous Prawn Cocktail (more cocktail sauce-like than prawn-like)
– Balsamic Vinegar & Salt (nicer that plain salt & vinegar)
– Cheese ‘n’ Onion (probably the most popular flavour in general)
– Mature Cheddar Cheese (“mature” when referring to cheddar means “sharp”)
– Oven Roasted Chicken With Lemon & Thyme (delicious!)
– Caramelised Onion & Sweet Balsamic Vinegar (meh)
– Thai Sweet Chili (not spicy at all, disappointingly)

Out of curiosity (and to use a good excuse to eat fried yumminess), I want to try:
– Marmite
– Quite Hot Crisps’s Curry Flavour
– Sausage and Tomato
– Pesto
– Cheshire Cheese & Chutney
– Flame Grilled Steak

A very large crisp company is currently running a new-flavour campaign, and have come up with six new combinations. People are invited to vote and choose which one will be added to their permanent roster. They (none of which I have tried) are:
– Chili & Chocolate
– Fish & Chips (how could this not already be out there?!)
– Onion Bhaji
– Crispy Duck & Hoisin Sauce
– Builder’s Breakfast (bacon, buttered toast, eggs and tomato sauce)
– and, if you’re feeling adventurous, Cajun Squirrel!

If you want plain old potato chips, go for the ones that are labelled “Ready Salted.”

By the way, the oddest thing happened whilst making this post: I googled “English crisp flavours” prior to writing it, so’s not to miss any particularly weird ones, and the first hit was this one. What makes it even more of a notable coincidence is that the author is a woman, only the second female Adrian I’ve met who spells it in the masculine.

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