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Archive for April, 2010

Beautiful Rilke quote

I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer…

Rainer Maria Rilke

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Read the small print.

Me: [rings IRS] Hi, I’m re-filing taxes because poo head said I was an independent contractor, but your lovely selves have determined I was an employee. My question is this: the forms you have instructed me to fill out only talk about tips. I had no tips, I had wages. What forms do I need to fill out to attach to my amended return?

Them: You need to talk to such-and-such department. [transfers me, I spend 25 minutes on hold]

Them: Hi, what’s up?

Me: [explains]

Them: Yeah, that form you’ve been instructed to fill out doesn’t make sense to me either. Let me see what I can do. [on hold for ten minutes]

Me: [clarifies questions]

Them: Okay, hold on. [on hold for five minutes]

Me: [clarifies question]

Them: Yeah. [on hold for six minutes]

Me: [clarifies question]

Them: Yeah. [on hold for five minutes]

Me: [clarifies question]

Them: Boy, I’m stumped. Let me put you through to these guys. [on hold for 22 minutes]

Me: [clarifies questions, gives entire story again]

Them: Ah, see that small print where it says this thing about if you have wages, you need to file this other thing? You need this other form.

Me: Oh thank you, thank you, I see that! [accidentally hangs up due to shifting papers on the computer keyboard]

[hysterical laughter ensues, big glass of wine consumed, cigarette smoked]

If I had read the bloody small print, I would have found that the form the IRS instructed me to fill out had a small caveat directing me to a different form.

AI CHIHUAHUA!

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